


Don't You Call Him (What You Used To Call Me)

by lululawrence



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: ...or is it?, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on Cherry, Break Up, Five Stages of Grief, Harry Styles is a drama queen, M/M, No Smut, Pettiness, Petty harry, Post-Break Up, Sad Harry, Song fic, Unreliable Narrator, it all ends well I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:07:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26393125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: Harry woke up slowly, the sun shining in his eyes making sleep an impossibility. It didn’t seem to matter how they hung the curtains in their bedroom, the sun always found a way to peek around the edges to glare right in Harry’s face first thing in the morning.He let out a soft groan and rolled over so he could cuddle into Louis and enjoy his Saturday morning lie in for a little longer, but when he reached Louis’ side of the bed he found it empty and cold, and that was when he remembered it all.Louis was gone.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 134
Collections: Fine Line Fic Fest





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic sounds incredibly depressing by reading the tags and summary, but please know the entire thing isn't that way and that's all I'm going to say on that. This was actually written based on my first thoughts of reading the lyrics before ever hearing the song, so I hope you enjoy hehe
> 
> Thank you to my betas, [Lynda](https://wait4ever.tumblr.com) and [Maggie](https://disgruntledkittenface.tumblr.com) as well as my brit pick [KK](https://dinosaursmate.tumblr.com)! Y'all went along for the ride without my telling you what would come of it, and your trust means very much a lot to me hehe
> 
> This fic was written for the [Fine Line Fic Fest](https://finelineficfest.tumblr.com//). Make sure you check out all the other great fics in the collection which can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FineLineFicFest//)!

Harry woke up slowly, the sun shining in his eyes making sleep an impossibility. It didn’t seem to matter how they hung the curtains in their bedroom, the sun always found a way to peek around the edges to glare right in Harry’s face first thing in the morning.

Not that it was often all that sunny in London, but it was always light enough in the mornings to wake him.

He let out a soft groan and rolled over so he could cuddle into Louis and enjoy his Saturday morning lie in for a little longer, but when he reached Louis’ side of the bed he found it empty and cold, and that was when he remembered it all.

Louis packing up his bags over a week ago. Louis scanning all of the rooms of their shared flat, making sure he hadn’t forgotten anything important in his rush to leave, his haste to be… somewhere else.

Louis was gone.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, covering his face with his hands for good measure as he took a deep breath and tried to hold back the tears.

It was pointless. Just as he had every morning since, Harry started the day with a good cry. He had promised himself that he would limit how long he cried, though. Starting today. He was going to try to pull himself together and figure out what he was meant to do without Louis.

After his allotted five minutes were up, Harry grabbed a tissue and dried his face before heading to the bathroom to finish pulling himself together. 

Harry watched his reflection in the mirror go through the motions of cleaning his teeth and washing his face, feeling disconnected from the movements. He knew that physically he might look fine, but emotionally he was still bruised.

Considering he and Louis had been dating for almost a year and a half and had only moved in with each other around four months ago, he thought it was only fair. In Harry’s eyes, they were far enough along to be feeling settled with one another but still early enough to be in the honeymoon period.

Clearly he’d miscalculated. Who left during the honeymoon period of the relationship? He had taken so much for granted, and now he had to deal with that.

Harry sighed before dragging himself to the kitchen. He automatically began pulling out a mug for both of them before he realised what he was doing. After thinking for a moment, he put his own favourite rainbow mug back and kept Louis’ Doncaster Rovers mug to use for himself. He even considered making himself a mug of Louis’ Yorkshire Tea, but he really wasn’t fond of it. He’d actually much prefer a coffee, so that’s what he made for himself.

How long was it supposed to hurt like this? Harry had been through painful breakups before, but at least he’d had some inkling that those were coming. Louis leaving like he did truly felt out of nowhere. One day he and Louis had been living in perfect domesticity with only slight bursts of arguments, and the next Louis was gone.

Harry rubbed at his chest, as if that would help the physical ache of it all. He knew deep down that nothing could dull the pain of being without the man he hoped was his forever. 

At least for now. Harry knew he’d come back eventually. He had to.

Coffee and banana in hand, Harry moved towards the living room, but froze in the doorway. Louis’ things littered the space Harry hadn’t allowed himself to enter all week, and this was exactly why. He knew Louis better than he knew himself, and Louis had a classic case of ADHD. He had very specific ways of organising which made little to no sense to anyone else and, to Harry at least, looked like utter chaos. Harry had slowly got used to it, but he still preferred a tidy space. 

Pursing his lips, Harry tentatively settled himself on the couch they’d picked out together just last month as he took in the space. He was torn. Did he want to leave everything just as it was, untouched, so it still at least felt like Louis was there with him? Or did he want to pack it away and remove any reminders of Louis so he could try to forget who was missing and find his own rhythm? Then again, removing all traces of Louis would just make it that much more obvious in Harry’s mind.

Harry sipped his coffee and burnt his tongue. He never did wait long enough to drink it, and Louis thought it was hilarious. It didn’t matter how many times he warned Harry, he always tried to drink it too early and would have to set the mug down so he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. The only problem was he often got so focused on something else, he’d leave the mug untouched and not even remember until it had gone cold.

Smiling even as his eyes welled up again as he imagined hearing Louis’ laugh ring out in the silence he was currently surrounded by, Harry set the mug down. Maybe he could find some sort of halfway point when it came to Louis’ mess. He could tidy up enough to appease that side of him, but leave enough out to still feel like Louis was there.

Yes, that was what he would do. Tomorrow, though. Just making the decision was enough for him today.

Harry leaned back into the couch, looking around. He supposed he could redecorate a little too. Finally take down the awful painting Louis had insisted be hung across from the telly that Harry hated. He wasn’t here to argue about it at any rate and Harry needed to make the space feel like his if he was meant to be alright with Louis being gone.

He didn’t want to, though. Maybe that was something for future Harry to deal with. For now, he just wanted to be able to allow himself to hope that Louis might come back soon. Harry knew that wasn’t going to happen, but he liked to think it could. Louis had left behind literally all of his things he couldn’t carry with him when he left, so that made the potential feel more real. Maybe if he came back sooner rather than later, Harry could convince him to stay.

By the time Harry glanced at the clock, he realized over forty minutes had passed. The coffee was definitely cold, but he gulped it down as he rushed to his bedroom where his phone was ringing. Just as he’d expected, it was his mum calling to check up on him. She had been more than a little worried with how Harry was handling everything, and he hadn’t done much to convince her she didn’t need to be concerned about him. Maybe he could start on that today. 

Yes. That could be step one. Faking being okay enough to convince those checking in on him that he was fine. Then he could go from there.

Now that he had a plan, Harry straightened up and grabbed his phone, answering it as cheerfully as he could.

“Hi, Mum.” He even smiled as he said it, hoping the old tip given to him when he still worked in customer service really did help him sound happier. “How’s your Saturday so far?”

Harry quickly zoned out on their conversation as he looked around his bedroom. He saw one of Louis’ favourite jumpers laying on the floor behind the chair in the corner, and he quickly pulled it on, tucking his nose into the fabric and breathing deeply. It still smelled like his aftershave.

For the first time in days, Harry didn’t feel quite so alone. As his mum continued to update him on the cats, Harry allowed himself to smile, just a little bit. That was enough progress for now.


	2. Chapter 2

Seventeen days and three hours. He was determined to stop counting the exact amount of time that had passed, but he couldn’t altogether. Maybe that could be something for him to work on later. 

All the same, that was how long Harry lasted before reaching out to Louis. He felt that was quite good of him, actually. He was trying to give Louis space, allow him to come to the conclusion that he didn’t actually want to be wherever it was he’d run off to, but what if Louis  _ wanted _ to hear from Harry? What if all he needed was a slight nudge showing that Harry missed him and needed him to bring him back now? Harry wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t act and Louis stayed away because he hadn’t done enough.

He started with a few texts here and there. He made sure to always keep them short, factual, and nothing demanding a response. 

_ I miss you.  _

_ United held their own against Liverpool, I watched just for you.  _

_ My hair is growing just as fast as you said it would and it’s got even more curly. _

_ I love you. _

When he hit day twenty-two without Louis, Harry cracked. None of his texts were showing as delivered, much less read, and he was desperate. He also hadn’t gone this long without hearing Louis’ voice since they met two years ago. He felt like his chest was breaking with the weight of his heart’s sorrow. The only thing he could think of when it came down to it was trying to call him.

The phone sent him straight to voicemail. That didn’t necessarily surprise him, but Harry wasn’t sure if it was worth leaving a message or not. He hoped it was. He still clung to the chance, no matter how small, that Louis would return.

“Hey, Lou,” Harry said, easing into it. He was choking up just saying Louis’ name. How ridiculous. 

Clearing his throat, Harry looked out the window at the sunset. It had been a wet and cold October day, but the weather had finally broken just in time for the sun to go down. He’d never been so thankful for their living room window giving them enough hint of the sky around their surrounding buildings to see the colours.

“I don’t even know what to say now that I’m in your voicemail. I just really needed to hear your voice.” Sighing a little, Harry pushed forward. “I know you haven’t seen my texts, but I just needed to tell you that I love you and miss you. So much. I even tried drinking your tea yesterday in the hopes it would make you feel close to me, but it didn’t work.” Harry laughed at himself, wetly. “Pathetic, I know. Just… call me? Please. I don’t care what time it is, I’ll answer no matter what.”

He didn’t even bother saying goodbye. Harry just ended the call and let his phone drop to his lap. In his gut, he knew he wouldn’t hear back, but he couldn’t help but hope that he would.

Four hours later, Harry was sound asleep on the couch and Louis still hadn’t called.

***

Harry was quite possibly getting worse. He had left enough voice messages for Louis now that his mailbox was full, and they had only been apart thirty-five days. In his increased desperation to hear something,  _ anything, _ from Louis, he had taken to texting him multiple times a day.

Sometimes they were angry and filled with frustration.

_ Why aren’t you here? _

_ Are you ever going to return or have you actually given up on us? _

_ I’m throwing out the plant you gave me for my birthday just to piss you off _

Most were just empty threats, and if Louis ever got the messages he would see through Harry entirely.

Some were so long that he knew that even if he had sent it while Louis was still living with him and responding within minutes to every text he sent, he’d have got a good number of eye rolling emojis in response before he gave his actual reply.

_ I was at your favourite bakery the other day and I couldn’t help but remember that time Clifford got free in the park. He ruined the croissants we’d just spent an hour getting and got so dirty it took ages to get all the mud out of his fur. I had to wash the bath three times after that just to get all remnants of grass, mud, and dog fur out. I still don’t know how more kept sneaking in there considering how thoroughly I cleaned it every time. He always has been a sneaky bastard. I think I miss him just as much as I miss you. Which is a lot, by the way. _

Some were nonsense and he didn’t even care.

_ Fucking fuck _

_ Yesterday I… fuck. Nevermind. Bastard. _

_ Your damn SHOES _

_ Blue? Or taupe? Nevermind. Going with red. _

_ I still can’t believe you did that to the pages of your favourite books _

_ Yeah. _

He hoped whenever Louis was back in range of service or whatever it was that was keeping him from getting Harry’s texts that every single message Harry had ever sent him would flood his phone to the point of overload. It was what the man deserved at this point.

Mostly, though, he just wanted Louis back.


	3. Chapter 3

It was approximately day fifty when Harry broke. He was just  _ so _ angry with Louis—for leaving, for refusing to even look at his texts, for all of it really—that he decided to take drastic measures.

Well. They weren’t  _ that _ drastic. But they felt it to him. 

Louis loved sharing clothes with Harry, and Harry did as well. Neither of them worried about which side of the wardrobe they hung their nice shirts or where they put their socks, which was fortifying in a way; it just made them feel closer. But Louis was particular about a few things.

One was his jeans. Due to the few inches in height difference between the two, their trousers could not be easily interchanged. They sometimes did and Louis’ skinny jeans looked fashionably short on Harry, and Harry’s jeans could be cuffed in order to not drag or bunch up around the ankles on Louis. Louis didn’t like doing that too often, though, because if Harry wore his jeans too much the knees wore out quickly, and then Louis had holes that didn’t quite match up with where his own knees were and they fit a bit funny after that.

Another was his shoes, particularly his Vans. There was something about the padding used for Vans that shaped to the feet wearing them very quickly, and if Harry wore Louis’ shoes even just three or four times they stopped feeling the way Louis liked. He’d just given two pairs of Vans and even a pair of Chucks to Harry to keep for himself since Louis refused to wear them when they felt like Harry’s so called “alien feet.”

Harry started wearing Louis’ favourite pair of jeans at least twice a week just to spite him. He didn’t care about them enough to take them with him, so Harry thought it was only fair game.

Same with Louis’ shoes. He didn’t just choose one pair, though. He wore Louis’ black Vans most often, but occasionally he branched into the blue pair and started enjoying the neon yellow high-tops too.

Which brought him to tonight.

“Did you lose all your shoes?” Grimmy asked, looking at Harry confused. “Thought you were well obsessed with those brown Chelsea boots still.”

Harry scrunched his nose and shrugged a bit. “Louis left these, so…”

Grimmy’s face cleared and he immediately tutted a bit whilst pulling Harry in for a hug. “Awwww, Hazza’s sad and missing Louis so he’s wearing his clothes! Yes, that makes sense for you. Come on, take off those old checkered shoes and take some shots with me and Mesh.”

Harry slumped into Grimmy’s side and followed him into their posh kitchen they’d just redone. He thought that maybe that was the reason for the party, but honestly it was Grimmy. Sometimes he hosted a party because it was a Wednesday and he had decided that Wednesdays deserved to be celebrated.

It didn’t take long before the edges of Harry’s vision were a bit fuzzy and everything seemed hilarious. It was so nice to feel like his sadness and frustration at his own situation was gone, even for a little bit. Grimmy and Mesh knew how to throw a party, and the dancing to Grimmy’s own mix of music was the best release of all the tension Harry had been carrying.

Several hours, a handful more shots, and even more mixed drinks later, Harry tumbled out of the Uber he’d called with Pixie and laughed as he waved her goodbye and fumbled with his keys. He only dropped them twice, which he thought was very well done, and it didn’t take him long at all to get it to fit into the door.

The lock didn’t turn, though, and Harry was very upset and confused until he tilted his head and realized the number on the door wasn’t his.

“Whoops,” he whispered as he giggled and yanked his keys from the lock. It took him a minute to remember if their flat— _ his _ flat— was to his left or his right.

He took a guess and slowly made his way, dragging his hand along the wall to be sure he didn’t lose his balance, but that was the wrong direction. Definitely wrong. 

Turning around, he passed the door he’d originally tried to go in, giving it a little wave of his fingers as he finally got closer to his own door.

The keys slid right in and turned with no problems, and Harry was relieved. He really, truly, very much needed a piss.

Harry dropped his keys and clutch right there on the floor, locked the door behind him, and then headed right to the bathroom. He kicked off Louis’ shoes on his way, cursing at them for feeling so weird on his feet. Was that why Louis didn’t like it? Maybe there really was something about shoes feeling weird after they’d been broken in by someone else.

Too tired to stand, Harry sat down on the toilet to relieve himself and stared at the wall. The clock ticked loudly and he squinted at it, trying to get the clock’s markings to focus.

Placing his left hand on the sink beside him, he leaned forward, pointing at where the numbers would be if he hadn’t got some fancy clock that was too good to display the numbers. Stupid big dots were hard to keep straight when he was this tired. And drunk. 

Maybe it was the alcohol that was the problem. Probably.

Finally he figured out it was 3:30. Or 2:30. It was a bit confusing, actually. But it didn’t much matter because he was done peeing so he could wash his hands and check his phone for the time if he really needed.

He was so frustrated with that clock, though. It wouldn’t leave him alone. It should not be that hard to figure out the time. Why had he decided to go ahead and purchase a clock without any numbers for their bathroom wall? A digital clock was taking things too far, he would still want an analog clock, but why not one with numbers? That could be easily read at any hour?

Harry peeled off his jeans and pants, leaving them on the floor and deciding he would deal with them in the morning. That’s what Sundays were for, right? Cleaning up all the messes you made on Saturday night?

He made sure he had his phone plugged in before climbing into bed and then he rolled over to Louis’ side and grabbed the laptop off his nightstand.

“Not Louis’ side anymore,” Harry muttered to himself before pouting. “Whole bed is mine now. My bed.”

Just to prove to himself he really did have control over the whole bed, Harry moved himself to the middle of the bed and stuck his knees up so he could tilt the laptop enough to see the screen and type easily.

Harry started searching for bathroom clocks, and all of them were ugly. Finally getting annoyed he went to Amazon and decided he would just do what he could and buy a damn boring clock with numbers.

Once he found one that would do and didn’t cost too much, he went to pay and realised that it was Louis’ account he was logged into. They technically shared it, but it was under Louis’ name and Harry did still have his own. He just hadn’t used it since before they moved in together.

Biting his lip, Harry went ahead and hit purchase using Louis’ payment info that was saved to the account. The purchase seemed to go through, so he happily closed the laptop and went to sleep dreaming of the easily read clock that would soon be hanging on his bathroom wall.

***

Harry forgot about that late night purchase until it arrived. When he remembered the ill thought out use of Louis’ payment information, Harry mulled on it longer. 

That night, after several glasses of wine he definitely shouldn’t have had on a work night, Harry made several more purchases. They were for stupid things, but now that he remembered he had the credit cards for Louis’ accounts, he couldn’t help but continue to buy little things. He bought himself a ridiculous number of bath bombs from Lush. He also bought himself what had to be six months’ worth of his favourite, most expensive facial cream from Sephora. 

He may have also made a fairly large purchase of Harry’s favourite whiskey, the kind Louis  _ hated, _ and fell asleep happy with the fact that he had scheduled the purchase to arrive in several months’ time, set to be delivered just in time for Valentine’s Day.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry studied himself in the mirror before heading out. He was meeting up with a few of Louis’ friends for Sunday dinner at their favourite local and it was the first time he’d seen any of them since Louis left just over two months ago.

He hadn’t purposefully avoided them. After all, they really were Harry’s friends just as much as they were Louis’, but he’d been so busy moping and then catching up with his own friends and family that he’d essentially neglected while he was busy being sad that he only now had the time to remind himself that they were also his friends and deserved to be seen as well.

Glancing at the freezer, Harry felt the guilt churn in his gut for all the drunken purchases he’d made with Louis’ cards. He hadn’t returned them, he didn’t feel  _ that  _ bad about them, but he had removed the cards for Louis’ accounts and stuck them in the freezer as well as logging out of Louis’ Amazon account. It felt official in a way he hadn’t expected it to considering up until that first purchase of the clock Harry hadn’t touched Louis’ accounts at all.

Sighing to himself, Harry grabbed his keys and phone and headed to the pub.

“Harry!” 

Harry turned in the direction he heard his name and saw Niall and Liam waving, smiling widely.

“Hey, guys,” Harry said before allowing Niall to wrap him in a tight hug. “How are you?”

“Doing alright,” Liam answered, smiling. “Missed you, though.”

Harry winced before offering Liam a hug too. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Things have just been… well. You know.”

“Yeah, we figured,” Liam said before sitting down on his side of the table again and waving for Harry to take a seat beside him. “We ordered for you already. Don’t worry, I didn’t let Niall order you a Guinness.”

Niall rolled his eyes. “I didn’t even try. I did make sure Liam didn’t order you any of that Stella shit Louis always drinks, though, because he was going to. I made sure to get you an actual decent lager.”

Harry laughed a little despite the jolt at Hearing Louis’ name said out loud for the first time in awhile.

“Ow,” Niall cried out, jumping a little in his seat before he glared at Liam and kicked back. “Fucker, what’d I even do?”

“Shut the fuck up, Ni,” Liam said before sending Harry an apologetic look. “He’s sad about Louis, as you have the right to be, okay? But that means we should let  _ him _ bring Louis up, not us.”

Niall stared at Liam blankly before looking at Harry. “Look, we’re only friends with you  _ because _ of Louis. I’m not going to just not mention him unless it’s not okay. So tell me if you don’t want me to say his name or whatever.”

“Oh my God,” Liam muttered, covering his face. 

Harry shifted awkwardly. He really did want to hear them talk about him. It might be stupid, but Harry missed him and Louis felt a little more real and less like someone he’d imagined or made up hearing Niall and Liam talk about him.

“I’d rather you talk about him actually,” Harry said quietly. “People keep avoiding mentioning him because they know how it is for me right now, but it kind of feels like he died and I really don’t want to think about that. Just… have you two heard from him at all?”

Niall and Liam looked at each other, and Harry could just tell that they were having a silent conversation. He and Louis used to joke the two men were partners outside of work as well, but they swore it was only platonic between them. Working as closely as they had over the past four years allowed them to know each other well and communicate even better, though, and this was just another instance of that.

Liam sighed. “You know what it’s like when Louis is gone.”

Harry huffed out a breath and leaned back into his seat.

“Haz,” Niall said gently, leaning forward. “You know the rules. You’re not going to hear from him. Not for awhile. I know this was sudden, but the rules still need to be followed.”

Harry rolled his eyes. He knew he wouldn’t hear from Louis, that wasn’t what he was asking. Fuck Louis and his fucking rules. For such a carefree, spontaneous man, Louis really did live certain parts of his life with an almost rigidity. Harry used to be impressed and pleased with the way he could rely on Louis and his reactions to certain things because of those rules, but they were certainly coming back to bite him in the arse this time.

“I didn’t ask that. I asked if  _ you _ had heard from him.”

As soon as he looked at Niall’s face he knew the answer. Niall never had been a good liar, or even one to hold back the truth well when asked a direct question.

“So, you have then.” Harry took a sip of his drink and couldn’t help humming in pleasure. Niall had made an excellent choice for him. “I assume he’s doing well?”

Niall shifted uncomfortably, so Harry wasn’t surprised when Liam answered his question instead.

“He’s doing as well as can be expected in the situation, yeah.”

“Good.” Something in Harry settled with that, even if it did make his longing grow. “So. Have you played any footie recently? I haven’t kept up with the team in the park lately.”

Liam and Niall nodded in understanding and quickly began to distract Harry with their stories of the various victories and losses of their recreational team.

It was a good night, but Harry was upset to find that it didn’t help him feel any better overall about his situation.


	5. Chapter 5

Louis’ friends were very understanding at first. Liam kept telling him to give it time and things would turn out alright. Niall was more than willing to talk to him about missing the man he loved.

But Harry started to rely on them maybe a bit too much. The energy with which he had thrown himself into reaching out to Louis, messing with his stuff, making purchases with his cards, and so on seemed to have shifted to Liam and Niall, and they weren’t entirely pleased.

Harry understood. He really did. But he also felt they were now being somewhat callous considering what he was going through. He and Louis had been together over a year and then one morning Louis came rushing home from work early and then... he was  _ gone. _ Harry wanted them to point to someone who could handle the situation better than him.

Well. No he didn’t. But he still thought he was doing pretty well all things considered.

He also felt he was well within his rights to be frustrated with Louis’ friends considering their reactions now. All Harry had done was send Niall another message about how much he missed Louis and wished all his things weren’t cluttering his flat because he thought he might miss him less if that were the case, and he’d received a slew of angry texts in reply.

_ Niall: Fucking hell, Harry, just man the fuck up, will you? _ _   
_ _ Niall: We all have to deal with this shit from time to time _ _   
_ _ Niall: Just suck it up and keep on keeping on like the rest of us, yeah? _ _   
_ _ Niall: And if his shit is bothering you that much, just box it up and make him deal with it _

There were others as well, but it was mostly Niall cussing in his usual creative and Irish way where Harry only understood maybe a third of what he was trying to say. Especially when combined with his typos due to typing with all caps.

Liam was a bit more understanding, but not by too much. When Harry reached out to him about a week and a half after they’d met up at the pub, Liam already had turned to giving a similar response to Niall.

_ Liam: Oh harry _ _   
_ _ Liam: its all gunna be fine yea?  _ _   
_ _ Liam: But you do have to just push past the worse of it  _ _   
_ _ Liam: We’ve all ben there, and youll get thru it to _ _   
_ _ Liam: Buck up soldier _

Harry did like Liam’s messages better overall, but it might have also been because of the ridiculous gifs he sent afterwards with scenes from the Iron Man movies that, as far as he knew, had nothing to do with their actual conversation. 

How was he meant to just push through, though? Louis had just left and all his things were still everywhere in the flat. He’d almost started packing them away like Niall suggested, but the one corner of the living room where he’d done it felt empty and cold without Louis’ stuff, so he’d put it all right back again.

It had been over two months, though. In fact, it was nearing three. Time didn’t make sense to him anymore, it just passed in a blur of missing Louis. He’d been the sunshine and warmth in his life, and without him it was dull and dark and meaningless.

Pouting to himself, Harry realised that maybe they did have a point. Maybe he was a bit pathetic and he did need to pick himself up and carry on.

But then he was sent a photo from one of his cousins. She was quite in love with the prince from… well, Harry couldn’t remember actually. It was some small country he couldn’t remember the name of, but she thought he was so fit she had photos of the man covering her walls.

She wasn’t in the habit of sending Harry photos of her prince charming, though, so the photo itself was very unexpected. But what actually blindsided Harry was that the photo was of Louis,  _ his _ Louis, and the prince looking well intimate on a patio.

_ Sarah: Isn’t that your boyfriend with Prince Zayn??? _   
_ Sarah: A fan is in Monaco on holiday and snuck this photo, couldn’t believe she was there at the same time as the prince!! Anyway, I didn’t want to say anything about the mystery hottie with him until I knew for sure. He looks a lot like Louis, though! _

Harry died a little inside. It absolutely was Louis, and now Harry knew where he was.

Monaco. He was on holiday in Monaco with a fucking  _ prince. _ No wonder Niall and Liam didn’t want to give him any details. The man had moved on from Harry, and with a gorgeous, dark, actual fucking prince of an entirely different country.

Great.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry was pretty sure that Liam had blocked his number. Or at the very least muted him for the time being and wasn’t accepting his phone calls after the way Harry had been practically attacking him the past three days.

Niall still responded, but his replies were getting more and more stern, even with the recent development of Louis being photographed with Prince Zayn.

Fucking hell. An actual prince and a bloody gorgeous one at that. Life really wasn’t fair sometimes. Here Harry was, left with all of Louis’ things…

Harry sat up straight and looked around the room. Why was he still keeping Louis’ things out now? He had no excuse at this point. Louis really wasn’t returning like he’d kept hoping would happen and he really did need to stop being pathetic. 

Harry walked to the small storage area assigned to their flat in the basement of their— _ his— _ building and pulled out three of the largest boxes. That would have to do for now.

Traipsing back upstairs, Harry put the boxes back together again and started tossing in Louis’ clothes. Well, some he kept out because he really did love wearing some of his hoodies and joggers, but otherwise they went into the box. Harry didn’t care how wrinkled some of his nicer items would be, Louis would just have to deal with it. He was the one who left all his shit with Harry while he went off and toured the continent with his new prince lover. Harry really didn’t know what else he expected to happen.

Once the first box was full, Harry took a glance around the bedroom to figure out what else he wanted to pack up of Louis’ things and realised the painting above the bed was technically Louis’, but he was definitely going to keep it. Louis definitely didn’t need the art if he was dating a prince.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he dialled Louis’ number for the first time in weeks, but when it went to voicemail he remembered it was full. Angrily thumbing over to the text window with all of his unread and unanswered texts, Harry tried to take a deep breath to control himself.

_ Harry: Does he take you walking around his parents’ gallery?  _ _   
_ _ Harry: I bet he fucking does. Just remember it’s not even his, it belongs to his daddy. _

“At least for now it does,” Harry muttered to himself before shoving his phone back into his pocket.

Taking a deep breath, he walked back out to the living room and decided to focus on the clutter there. He opened a box and started throwing in some of the random shit Louis had laying around as well as trinkets that he’d decorated the flat with.

Harry kept getting more and more upset as he remembered some of the wonderful memories they had made surrounding the items that clearly Louis didn’t care about anymore. He couldn’t help sending more angry texts as he cleaned them all up.

_ Harry: I know we’re not talking lately, but I do still keep in touch with your friends. _ _   
_ _ Harry: Just so you know. _

Harry sighed. He couldn’t stop seeing that picture of Louis and the prince in his head. It was killing him that Louis was at his best whilst he was at his worst. 

Maybe he should be happy for Louis. Maybe he’s just too selfish. But he can’t stop himself from sending another text. And another.

_ Harry: Don’t you fucking dare call that man baby _ _   
_ _ Harry: If you call him the same things you used to call me I swear I’ll murder you _

Scrunching his nose after sending that last message, Harry did somewhat regret that last line.

_ Harry: Okay, I won’t murder you, but I will do the best I can to make sure you regret calling him baby _

“I’m your only baby,” Harry pouted, suddenly filled with sadness.

All his anger rushed out of him with that and he collapsed on the couch beside the boxes. For the first time in weeks, Harry felt the tears well up within him with such force that he couldn’t hold them back. He pulled his knees to his chest and tucked his face into the soft fabric of the joggers he was wearing and let it all out.

His sobs felt almost violent, once he started he couldn’t stop, and soon his throat was sore from his crying. He uncurled himself and shakily stood up, his vision still blurry from the tears. He was trying so hard to keep them in, but it almost hurt more to hold it back than it did to let them free. 

As soon as he stumbled to what used to be  _ their _ bed but was now only his, he crawled on and kicked the box filled with Louis’ clothes off. He’d deal with that later. Right now he needed to let himself feel the pain of being left behind and abandoned by the love of his life in a way he hadn’t done yet. All the hope he’d held within him for Louis’ return was truly gone and he knew there wasn’t a chance he would ever come home for more than the time it would take him to gather his things.

Harry needed to mourn that realisation and the fact that his life really wouldn’t be the same. This was the end and he needed to do just as Niall and Liam had been telling him to and get past it.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry froze outside of his flat, his hand holding his keys hovering by the lock. He thought he could hear sounds coming from within, but that wasn’t right. No one had keys to his flat, the only other person who did was had been gone for four months now.

With that thought, his breath caught in his chest and he rushed to unlock the door. Once it was finally undone, Harry threw it open, practically running inside to see if it really was who he hoped it was.

“I was wondering when you’d be getting home!” Louis’ voice called out from the kitchen. “Come on in, love. I’m making fajitas.”

Harry’s heart clenched with both excitement and shame. He couldn’t even bother to take his shoes off, though, he just dropped everything and ran to the kitchen, pulling Louis into him with as much force as he could. 

As soon as Louis was tucked into his chest and he could smell his shampoo, Harry knew it was real. Louis was back. Louis was  _ home. _

“Oh, hello there,” Louis said, happily. “I did hope it would be a surprise for you.”

“I missed you so fucking much,” Harry said, tears pricking his eyes. “I can’t even explain.”

Louis chuckled. “Yes, well. Your texts did imply as much.”

Harry squeezed his eyes closed. “Fuck. I really kind of hoped those wouldn’t deliver to you.”

“My phone stopped working for a bit after I turned it on because it had a hard time loading all of them,” Louis said with a soft laugh before gently pushing Harry away from him. 

Harry felt warm and alive in a way he hadn’t since Louis had gone simply from having his eyes on him again. 

“Is that what I have to look for every time I have a long assignment? Angry text messages and voicemails acting like we’ve broken up? Coming home to half my things packed up and having to throw away my favourite shoes and clothes because you destroyed them all in your pettiness?”

Harry rolled his eyes as he wiped his cheeks before he let go of him and allowed Louis to return to the food he was cooking for them. 

“It  _ felt _ as though we’d broken up. Everyone was avoiding even saying your name. Felt a bit like you’d died, actually,” Harry admitted. He scrunched his nose in embarrassment as he spied the rubbish filled with Louis’ jeans and his checkered Vans.

“I’m not going to be able to afford leaving for that long if I’ve got to replace my wardrobe every time,” Louis teased. “I’ve got to say, though, if that’s how you act with a breakup I’d do well to never piss you off. And please remind me that I owe Niall at least two rounds next time we go out for having to try to keep you calm for me too.”

“Ha ha,” Harry fake laughed, but he really was feeling a bit ashamed of his own behaviour. “I might have been a  _ bit _ of a drama queen.”

“A bit?” Louis bent over with the force of his laugh. “Yeah, I think you went a little far, even for you.”

“Whatever,” Harry muttered. “I’m glad you’re home, though.”

“Me too, love.” Louis turned off the hob and turned to Harry, his hands on his hips. “I promise that I never called him ‘baby’ or ‘sweet cheeks’ or ‘curly’ or any of my special names for you, okay?”

Harry couldn’t meet Louis’ eyes anymore and his cheeks flamed bright pink. He’d forgotten that particular string of texts he’d sent, but he was glad to hear the reassurance all the same.

“Not even once?”

Louis walked up close to him and lifted his chin until he was forced to look at him in the eyes. His entire body was set and serious so there wasn’t a chance that Harry would misunderstand. 

“I never even came close to slipping up, okay?” Louis waited until Harry had nodded in response before he continued. “I love you. With everything I am. You are my person and I am so grateful for you every day of my life. I could never accidentally call someone else something like baby, because you are absolutely my only baby and hopefully always will be.”

“Even if you had a possibility with a fucking fit prince?” Harry asked, sniffling.

Louis snorted. “Yes. Even if the man I pretended to date as part of a long term, undercover operation for our government was a fucking fit prince.”

Harry sighed. “It really is kind of cool to date a secret agent man, but you being gone that long and not being able to talk to you at all really did suck. I didn’t even know where you were until those photos surfaced.”

“I know, love. I know. That was on purpose though and for everyone’s safety. Those photos never should have been taken and… nevermind all of that.” Louis shook his head before leaning forward and kissing Harry’s cheek gently. “This wasn’t the longest I’ve ever had an assignment last, and I’m hoping it’ll be one of my last long term ones.” Louis hesitated for a moment, wincing a little. “I’m lucky, actually. I was one of the last brought in, so I didn’t have to stay away as long as I feared I might when I was first told about it.”

“Yeah, the way you talked about it before leaving I wondered if you were ever coming back,” Harry admitted. “Probably added to how I was acting. Sorry.”

Louis shook his head and finally leaned in for a kiss. It was so short, it had Harry following him to get more. 

Louis hummed happily before saying, “How about we wait a bit for dinner? I have several other things I’ve been thinking about how much I missed over the last few months and I’d very much like to show you what they are.”

Harry smirked. “Is that right?”

Louis wagged his eyebrows. “Oh, yes. But we are a bit overdressed for them.”

“Damn, that’s a shame. Think we can fix that?” Harry asked as he started walking backwards out of the kitchen.

“I think we probably can,” Louis said before rushing around Harry and running to their bedroom. “Last one in bed naked has to give the first blowjob!”

“Oh damn, what’s a man to do?” Harry teased as he took his time getting to the bedroom.

He knew that Louis was going to tease him for probably years over how he acted while he was gone. He couldn’t bring himself to be too disappointed though, because Louis was finally home and that was all that really mattered.


	8. Epilogue

Louis had allowed himself a long weekend with Harry mostly ensconced in their bedroom and putting their flat back together again before he really had to get back into the real world. He had already picked up Clifford from Lottie, who had been taking care of him since Harry’s work schedule was too erratic. It was time to get caught up on other things too, though, and he needed to start with checking on his various bank accounts and cards to ensure that nothing too crazy happened to them while he was gone. 

His mum was backup on all of his accounts that weren’t shared with Harry, so should anything go wrong the bank would be able to contact her if he wasn’t able to be reached, but he always felt better being able to go through all the transactions himself and make sure the activity was exactly as it should be.

Everything looked just as it should until he got to his back up credit card. This one he rarely used and it was generally only when he was trying to be sneaky with purchasing Christmas gifts or when he was planning big holidays. He was the only one with a card for the account and he definitely hadn’t been using it himself, so he was concerned when he logged on and saw he had a balance.

As soon as he started scrolling, though, he started to get suspicious. The charges, while higher than what they would usually spend at Lush or Amazon etc, weren’t obscene and they were all retailers he had saved his card information onto their sites. 

Then, he saw a fairly ridiculously sized purchase made at a website Louis wasn’t familiar with. After searching for it, he found they were a company that sold some of Harry’s favorite liquor in large quantities. Knowing his boyfriend, Louis had a very strong hunch regarding what had happened.

He wanted to hear it from Harry, though. Make him squirm a little as he explained what exactly happened.

“Hey, Harry?” Louis called out, standing up from his desk in the corner of their bedroom. “I’ve got a question for you…”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! It gives me life when you leave kudos and nice comments :) You can find the fic post for this very darling fic baby of mine [here](https://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/630877349524733952/dont-you-call-him-what-you-used-to-call-me-by).


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